Naked Party Etiquette

December 28, 2011 | Published by: Love Ambassador | Filed Under: Opinion

Ah ah ah *wags finger*

Up here *SMILES* … Focus, focus where the words are coming from. If someone else is talking then we’d have to discuss that in another forum.

Let me introduce myself. I’m here to give you The Naked Truth…the truth, the whole truth and nothing but The Naked Truth.

First off, how about some “how to’s” and “what if’s”. For instance, WHAT IF you’re invited to a naked party, do you go? Ummm, hell yes!

First things first here is what to do:

Do not stare. Unless it’s a deep gaze into someone’s eyes, STARING, even with clothes on, is NOT cool. Which leads to…well, you know the rest.

NO TOUCHING, well except if you came with him or her OR you are leaving with him or her.

*If you’re the life of the party, that socialite, moi, there is still an invisible barrier unless of course, you’ve stumbled upon an orgy. An orgy and a naked party or nudist ‘behavior’ are totally different things. But we’ll explain that in another column.

Bring a towel. Your juices, moisture, germs. Keep them. While we’re on germs & coverage: If everyone is nude. A bathing suit will make you STAND OUT. And in the forums of cultural nudity, bathing suits, etc. carry germs. The TOWEL is for you to sit on. Remember juices & moisture. LOL

Be comfortable. If the entire time you’ll be wishing you shaved or tanned or brought socks (LOL), then do it. Don’t be a Debbie Downer at a party saying “I should’ve shaved.”

These are the basics. O, NO PICTURES. There’s a difference between people in their zone, their environment and LOOKEY LU’S …. Don’t be a lookey lewd. Voyeurism has its place.

Please know there are MANY cultures outside of the western world that as a culture are nude, consistently or in bathhouses. For example: Korean bath houses and the beauty rituals, Grecian community bathes, and the beautiful history of Crete.

Confidence is SEXY. Maybe this should be rule #1 and just a life rule. Don’t think she’s skinnier, his abs are more defined. STOP IT! Repeat after me: CONFIDENCE IS SEXXXY! … Just don’t say it aloud, especially not in front of a hot girl.

If you’re still a prude, I’ll have to say, most anyone whose home you’ve ever visited has had sex on the couch, floor, table, sink, and possibly door. If you can get over that, host a nudist basketball game. We’ll provide you with some party tips later.